i seriously cant believe its been 2 years. TWO AWESOME YEARS as a Christian.
i remember growing up, my dad would always tell me about a God who was so great, who loved me, who died for my sins. but i never bothered to hear my dad out, simply because my mindset was: i dont need God. religion never seemed relevant to me, and i wanted to lead my own life on my own terms.
anw, in 2006 my life really got out of control. i filled up the first half of 2006 with alot of junk (simply put, alot of sins that isnt very wise to be blogged about). like i said, i wanted to live life my own way. around september of 2006, i was suddenly struck with depression. no one really knew cause i never really showed it. pride i guess. but i suddenly realised how empty and shallow my life was. i mean what i thought life was all about actually wasnt. on top of that, everything in my life just really wasnt working out. like school, family, friends, bowling... just everything. i remember trying to hide my pain by surrounding myself with alot of friends, by drinking, just trying alot of different ways to heal myself, but my situation just seemed to always get worse and eventually i would still end up crying every night. until one night when i felt God say "Ann, why not you just come to me?"
i still didnt want to give up my 'way' of life, but i was so desperate to get out of my depression that i made a 'deal' with God. i remember telling God that i would give Him one chance for Him to show me that He was real. that i would go to church on the coming sunday, and that if He was real and if He was able to heal my pain, the rest of my life i would follow Him. but if after sunday i was still in depression, i would never step into a church again.
well, im still a Christian arent i? haha. it was THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE. 12/11/06. it really was. i remember stepping into the auditorium of Cornerstone that day. the service hadnt even started yet and i was already on my knees weeping in the presence of God. it was so strong and it was so undeniable. that day, pastor daniel spoke about the hurting heart. yea, i was crying through that too, but in a good way. i left that place totally transformed, like this huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders. more than just taking away my pain, God showed me His love for the very first time that day.
Jesus, the rest of my days i will GLADLY follow You, i will GLADLY walk with You. there is no one else i would rather spend my days with. let my heart my soul my mind my life my all be wholly surrendered to You, use me Lord in any way You please, for i am Yours now and forevermore. i am devoted to You Lord, for only You have captivated my heart. truely there is no one else like You, no one else who makes me feel this way. thank You for turning my life around. I LOVE YOU JESUS! (:
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